At DePaul, we’re committed to building inclusive communities where every individual feels seen, heard, and supported. Holding space for other’s lived experiences can deepen empathy, understanding, and action.

This Pride Month, we’re amplifying the voices of LGBTQ+ individuals and allies who serve within DePaul—beginning with reflections from David Young, Finger Lakes Addiction Resource Center Coordinator for DePaul’s National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence – Rochester Area.  Continue reading to learn more about his experience as a member of the LGBTQ+ community and how allies can make a meaningful difference.

Personal Journey

Can you share a little about your journey around understanding your sexual orientation?

I became aware of my sexual orientation at a young age, around 13 or 14, however, navigating those early years was complex; societal expectations dictated that young boys are supposed to like girls. This pressure loomed large over me, often leading to a facade I had to maintain even within the safety of my own home. In a time when homosexuality wasn’t openly discussed, and resources or safe spaces to explore these feelings were scarce. I felt isolated. High school felt particularly stifling, contributing to my deep-seated disdain for that period of my life. Witnessing peers who lived authentically and faced brutal repercussions — name-calling, physical assaults—further reinforced my decision to stay hidden. It seemed far safer to conceal my true self than risk public condemnation.

Did you feel the need to officially come out, or did it happen naturally through your relationships and experiences?

My coming out was a gradual process that unfolded naturally in my late-teens. My parents began to pick up on my reservations, and then one day, my mother confronted me with a question: “Are you gay?” To my relief, their response was overwhelmingly loving and understanding. That pivotal moment lifted a weight off my shoulders, and life began to feel a little easier afterward.

Were there people or places that made you feel safe or supported along the way? What made those supports meaningful?

During the late 70s and early 80s, I found solace in the bar scene, a vibrant haven for individuals like myself. These establishments provided a space where I could embrace my identity, unmask my true self, and build lasting friendships. The connections I forged in those moments became invaluable, and many of those friendships have endured through the decades.

How has your identity shaped your experiences within your community or in accessing services?

While having a supportive venue to explore my identity was liberating, it also came with its own set of challenges, particularly concerning substance abuse. I grappled with fitting into the straight mainstream, especially when it came to the workplace. I remember a previous job that felt hostile; the derogatory term “fag” echoed in casual conversations, making it evident that coming out was not an option there. The AIDS epidemic added another layer of complexity and heartbreak, spurring rampant stigma. I often heard comments like, “That’s what they get for being like that,” from family members, coworkers, and the community at large. Yet, the adversity we faced also strengthened our resolve. It galvanized our community, igniting a fight for dignity and lives, leading to the emergence of vital organizations and resources. Though we encountered significant backlash, we also began to witness allies stepping up to stand with us.

Identity & Pride

What does Pride Month mean to you personally?

Initially, Pride Month was a spirited celebration, albeit on a smaller scale than today’s grand festivities. We basked in the joy of progress, savoring moments of genuine change. As we accrued support, it felt as though we could finally begin to breathe easier and revel in our authenticity.

How do you celebrate or honor your identity during Pride Month and throughout the year?

In the early days, we were eager participants in every event, cheering loudly for our community. As we’ve matured, our involvement has shifted, but we’ve continually sought ways to contribute meaningfully throughout the year.

Are there any LGBTQ+ role models, advocates, or cultural figures who have inspired or influenced you?

Numerous public figures made an indelible impact on our movement. Celebrities who openly supported our cause were crucial, and when Magic Johnson revealed his HIV status, it dramatically shifted public perception of the disease. Similarly, the heartbreaking killing of Matthew Shepard galvanized our community, serving as a painful reminder of the work we still had ahead.

On Allyship

What does a good ally look like to you?

A true ally actively participates in our struggles and stands alongside us, whether through direct support or outreach initiatives. I find tremendous inspiration in how organizations engage with our community. Additionally, seeing Pride flags flying proudly in neighborhoods fills me with a sense of belonging and community.

What are some things people may say or do, with good intentions, that actually feel unhelpful or hurtful?

Perhaps the most frustrating experience is when people profess support but then act contrary to those claims. Stereotyping or dismissing our community with terms that reduce our complexity is profoundly hurtful. When I share that I have been happily partnered with the same man for over 35 years, I often witness stunned disbelief, as though a long-lasting, committed love is unexpected from someone like me.

Reflection & Hope

What do you wish people better understood about sexual orientation and gender identity?

My wish is that people stop thinking this is a choice. As Lady Gaga would say, WE WERE BORN THIS WAY.

Looking back, what message would you give to your younger self?

Stop hiding and be true to yourself.

What gives you hope for the future of the LGBTQ+ community?

What gives me hope are things like Pride events and organizations, as well as communities that show support.

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Thank you David for sharing your strength, honesty and insights! Being an ally isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, speaking up, and staying open. We’re proud to stand in support of our LGBTQ+ colleagues and individuals in the communinities we serve—not just in June, but every day—through advocacy, compassion, and inclusive care. Together, we can build a community where everyone feels at home.