World Alzheimer’s Day Spotlight: A Family’s Story of Support and Strength
Observed on September 21, World Alzheimer’s Day aims to raise global awareness around Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. This day highlights the impact of these conditions on individuals and families, and emphasizes the need for improved care, support, and research.
At DePaul, memory care is offered with specialized programs at our senior living communities − Glenwell in Cheektowaga and Wheatfield Commons in North Tonawanda. Meg Hodson’s mother Virginia has been living with Glenwell since March of 2024. She and her daughter Carissa Hodson offer an intimate glimpse into the joys and challenges that come along with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease as well as advice to others who may be facing the same journey.
Can you tell us more about your loved one before their Alzheimer’s diagnosis?
Meg: My mom and dad were both retired teachers who shared a love for travel and the arts. She was incredibly active as a volunteer at Kenmore Mercy Hospital, president of the Willow Ridge Garden Club, and an excellent cook and frequently hosted Sunday dinners. And when I tell you that my mom does not have a mean bone in her body, I mean it! She’s one of the kindest women you’ve ever met.
Virginia with her late husband, grandchildren and daughter Meg.
When did you first notice changes in your loved one?
Meg: The changes were gradual. Her cooking wasn’t the same. Then, she became more forgetful. While my dad was physically declining with a cancer diagnosis, my mom was mentally declining.
After my dad passed away and she was often on her own, the signs became more evident. For example, she became a silent observer in social settings and had more difficulty doing the daily newspaper puzzles. We had to hire people to help to make sure she ate and had some structure to her day.
How has Alzheimer’s impacted her and how has it impacted your relationship?
Meg: My mom didn’t seem to know she was declining. It was/is harder on me, my brother and my daughter. I have become the nurturer. My mom and dad helped me in so many ways. I wouldn’t be who I am without their love, support and guidance. When I do things, I think, “would they be proud?”
Virginia with her granddaughter Carissa.
Carissa: Having dementia has definitely impacted my grandma. She still is the sweetest person I know, she just doesn’t remember much. It’s impacted our relationship as well. Now that I’m an adult, I can visit her often, take her out for lunch, and understand her more. I feel that in a way, it has made us closer because I want to be present as much as I can for her.
What have been the biggest adjustments for your family after the diagnosis?
Meg: I feel as if so many of her friends just stopped being around her. We try to visit as many days a week as possible. It’s especially difficult on the local family members as we see her more and are in tune with the changes.
Carissa: The biggest adjustment has definitely been how she doesn’t remember certain things. For example, she knows who I am and my name but sometimes it just takes her a minute. She’ll often refer to me as her friend, then I’ll remind her I’m her granddaughter. She also often repeats the same questions, which was hard at first but now it seems common for her to do.
What has the support from Glenwell meant to you and your family?
Meg: Glenwell has offered me peace of mind. I ask my mom every time- do you feel comfortable here? Are the people kind to you? Is the food good?
Virginia with her daughter Meg.
Carissa: It means a lot to know my grandmother is being taken care of.
How has the care provided at Glenwell impacted your loved one’s quality of life?
Meg: My mom loves the activities, routine and socialization. She is at her best right now. Before moving into Glenwell, she would wear the same thing over and over. Now, her laundry is done and she is always presentable, clean, and well-dressed.
Are there activities, music, or traditions that still help you connect with your loved one? Can you share a moment recently when you felt especially close to them?
Meg: I think just getting her to my house on occasion for family dinners, though I will never be as good as a cook as my mom! She used to let us pick whatever we wanted for our birthday dinner so this year we did the same for my granddaughter, Lily. Though she picked spaghetti and meatballs, we made it gourmet. Mom came over, fed the dog like she’s always done, and we had a great meal.
Carissa: We do puzzles together every time I visit her. She has always enjoyed puzzles but I think since Glenwell, her passion has evolved to another level! A recent moment that made me feel especially close was when she teared up as I said goodbye after we had completed a few different puzzles together. I know she loves us all so much and she definitely shows it.
Thank you to Meg and Carissa for sharing their experiences caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease and for allowing Glenwell to be your next best thing to family.
Click here to learn more about how DePaul’s memory care units in Cheektowaga and North Tonawanda can meet the specialized needs of residents with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.